What To Do When You're Love-Lonely

My husband and I just came in from a walk through the trails of our pine tree farm. It’s winter, so the wind has blown the dead leaves off the trees and the weeds have wilted and fallen to the ground. Winter’s cruel affect on the forest caused me to see things I didn’t notice months ago.

I observed squirrels scurrying, a creek flowing through the trees, and our lonely house normally hidden by foliage up on a faraway hill. Without all the weeds, leaves, and vines, I was able to see more clearly.  But things had to die to give me this perspective.

I’ve experienced my fair share of relationship break-ups. When it happens, it seems like life will never be able to replace the devastation in your heart. It seems like an impolite hurricane ripped through your heart without permission. Maybe you find yourself lying on the ground, looking up at the bare limbs and smelling the decaying leaves as feelings of loneliness enter your heart and mind.

But, before you go there, could I speak a little hope to your heart? I remember the tears of despair and break-up.  I’ve entered THAT room where THAT guy stood across the room.  You know, the one who chose not to stay with you, or even give you a second chance. I know the feeling of wishing you were the other girl, the one all the guys fought over. Maybe you’re wondering if something is wrong with you. Or, perhaps you’re convinced something is wrong with you and you’re frustrated.

Let’s walk together in my woods. They seemed barren, dead and desolate, but look again.  They aren’t. I can hear birds chirping and see the sun shining on the forest floor normally shaded by leaves. It seems like the forest should be colder and lonelier in the winter, but see how it’s actually more open to your sight, to the sun?

It’s the same when we’re love-lonely. We want a relationship to fix our empty hearts, but look around you. Wake up! It’s time to re-focus, not cover up your loneliness.

Look around. Who are you and what are you experiencing?

When you’re love-lonely, you can clearly see the condition of your soul because no one else is clouding your view. When you’re love-lonely, you have more room for Jesus to shine his love down on your forest floor, instead of absorbing imperfect love from someone else.


When you’re love-lonely, it’s the perfect time to receive and soak up God’s love for you.  In Jeremiah 31:3, God says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”

When you’re love-lonely, you can hear Jesus’ words a little louder.

Do you believe them?  Can you hold them in your heart? If not, maybe you need time to re-focus your heart on the one man who loves you the most-Jesus.



  • Take some times to release your lonely feelings to God in a journal.
  • Look at your soul.  Put aside the barren limbs and dead leaves and look for some sun.  Write down three thankful things every morning or evening.
  •  Thank God for His love and presence in your life.


Offer It Up:

Jesus, we all get lonely sometimes.  When we are lonely help us to remember how much you love us.  Help us not just to remember, but generate a deep understanding of your love and seek fellowship with you.  We need your help and encouragement.

About the Author: 

Sharie serves the ministry as a speaker, traveling to universities, churches, camps and ladies events across the country. She is also an active writer and blogger.

Sharie was born and raised in Atlanta, GA where she gave her heart to Jesus when she was just 11 years old. At 12, she surrendered her life to ministry.

As a wife and ministry partner to Clayton, Sharie helped build the organization, working in multiple capacities since 1997. 

She has written four books, co-authoring two with Clayton:  12 Questions to Ask Before You MarryandThe Beauty and the Mystery.  She and Clayton also partnered with Lifeway to develop a curriculum for students based on their book True Love Project, recognized by Christian Retailers as the Best Non-Fiction in 2015. True Love Project (40 Days of Purity for Girls) also complements this piece.

Sharie also serves their children, Jacob and Joseph, as a full-time teacher, homeschooling the boys. She loves to paint, read and thrives outdoors! 

Request Sharie to speak, follow her at @SharieKing99 and check out her site for free resources