I wanted to start this blog by saying, "I'm sure you've heard the story of The Three Bears," but then I thought, "Our world is changing so much, maybe you haven't!"
So, instead, let me tell you a story in case you haven't heard it. There was a girl named Goldie-locks who wandered into the woods and found an abandoned house. Not knowing it was inhabited by three bears, she made herself at home, eating their food and using their furniture. When the bears came home, they found her in asleep in their cub's bed. When she awoke, she was so scared she ran away.
Great story, right? But, what does this have to do with the "Just Right" guy?
Well, when Goldie was in the bears' house and made herself at home, she coined the phrase "just right" when she found what she was looking for. When she tried the porridge, one was too hot, one was too cold, but the last one was just right. Two of the chairs were too big, but the last one was just right. One bed was too hard, one was too soft, but the last was just right... and she fell asleep.
It's no secret that singleness isn't easy. If we were close friends, I bet you would come home from a date and wonder if there's a "just right" guy out there for you. I bet you wish it was as easy as too hot, too cold, too big, too soft, or too hard. Am I right? All of you single girls should be shouting AMEN!
Well, I hate to burst your bubble because I cannot solve all your dating dilemmas in this blog (which I'm sure you already know), but I'd love to share with you a conversation I had with a young lady over breakfast. She confessed that the dating advice she often got always seemed to be one of two extremes. One side was always telling her not to settle for less that the perfect guy, while the other argued, "No guy is perfect. You need to just settle."
As she talked I felt her pain. Sometimes it feels like there's no "right" answer! While I listened, I thought about how I decided Clayton was "the one". What happened in my heart to allow me to date, become engaged and finally say yes at the altar? This wasn't an easy decision for me because my parents had both been married multiple times, so I was terrified I might not find or choose "the right guy".
As I pondered about what she had told me, I simply said, "I think that both statements have elements of truth. No man is perfect for sure. No woman is either. You'll never find the ideal man, so I think it's important to look for someone who is open to growth; someone who is willing to be your partner as God transforms you both in a lifetime of marriage. BUT don't marry someone expecting to change them. He should be someone you can respect; someone you know will challenge and support you spiritually and emotionally."
While I was answering her, I re-winded my mind to remember my husband when we first met, and then fast-forwarded to how I see him now. When we dated, he was a man who I loved and respected, but could also see he was willing to learn and repent when Jesus convicted him. He was a man I could follow, but was also open to my desires, wisdom or leadership at times. As I remembered, I realized these qualities in him have drawn us closer over the years.
And then, my mind kinda woke up as she said, "Wow! I've never heard it put that way. It's a little bit of both."
I didn't realize this advice was something some of you ladies might need to hear until my conversation with her. So, I hope this little piece of advice will help you as prom and wedding season approaches. "The Just Right Guy" probably doesn't exist, but if you find a man open to God's growth who you respect and admire, he might be "just right" for you!